What Parenting Taught Me About Leadership (And Why CEOs Should Think Like 4-Year-Olds Series) – Fostering Critical Thinking for Breakthrough Innovation
I have two kids, and if there’s one phase every parent knows well, it’s the endless "why, why, why" phase. My older daughter and I managed to outgrow it, but with my almost-4-year-old, the questioning is in full swing. Picture a typical exchange:
Little One: "Mom, why is the sky blue?"
Me: "I don’t know."
Little One: "Why don’t you know?"
Me: "Because I just don’t know."
Little One: "But why?"
Me: "Maybe I knew once, but I don’t remember—something about light reflecting."
Little One: "Why don’t you remember?"
Me: "Because I just don’t."
Little One: "Mom, but why?"
And so the loop goes on. You can be stuck in that cycle for what feels like an eternity! At first, I tried answering every question, hoping that clarity would quench their curiosity. Instead, it just led to a cycle of frustration—for both of us.
After many weekday and weekend marathons of "why" questions (ranging from why he needs to wear shoes to why I can’t marry him), I remembered a technique I had used with my daughter. I read about it on a parenting blog when I was utterly exhausted. I wished I had thought of it myself at the time.
Parenting Lesson:
So, I changed my approach. One day, in the midst of another barrage of "why" questions, I paused and simply asked, "What do you think?" That single question shifted the entire dynamic. Instead of me handing out answers, I invited my kids to think for themselves. Suddenly, the constant questioning turned into a reflective process—a chance for them to explore ideas, reason out their own answers, and develop critical thinking skills. And do you know what’s the best part? Their answers! Some of them are priceless—like the day my daughter asked, "Mom, how are babies made?" I replied, "How do you think?" Her answer involved light, elves, magic, and a very non-practical way to put a baby inside a belly.
This simple change not only broke the endless "why" cycle but also transformed potential moments of frustration into opportunities for growth and learning.
Behavioral Insight:
Behavioral science tells us that such micro-moments, repeated consistently, rewire our brains. Neuroscience shows that when we engage in reflective questioning, our brains release dopamine—the “feel-good” neurotransmitter that fuels learning and creativity. By asking "What do you think?" we not only empower our kids to explore but also build neural pathways that support innovation and problem-solving.
Leadership Application:
This lesson is just as valuable in the world of leadership. Many first-time managers haven’t been trained to lead effectively. They often dictate tasks rather than empowering their teams to think for themselves. Your job as a leader isn’t to hand out answers—it’s to ask the right questions.
For example, when I was a Project Manager I once faced a project deadline that seemed impossible to meet. Instead of giving orders, I gathered my team and asked, "What do you think is our biggest challenge here, and how can we overcome it together?" The response was remarkable. We not only discovered a creative solution, but the team also felt deeply involved and empowered. That simple shift from telling to asking turned a stressful situation into a collaborative, innovative micro-moment—one that set the tone for future success.
Embracing curiosity and encouraging critical thinking can spark innovation and build a culture where questions are welcomed, and every perspective matters. After all, the best ideas often start with a simple question.
What are your thoughts on shifting from telling to asking in leadership? Let’s start a conversation and explore how these micro-moments can build more connected, empowered teams.
